i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
