I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
