Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
