There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
