at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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