you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You're so nebulous sometimes
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
