i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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