So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I faked an abortion last night.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
