I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
