True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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