He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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