How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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