how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
