It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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