Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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