whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
