Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
