They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
