1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize