You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
jump out the window naked night went bad
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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