I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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