Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
smell my finger.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
