She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
