i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
