If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
