Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
