if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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