Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish i was in the wii world.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
