He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My bed smells like the plague
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize