It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
