I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
