i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Green mimosas i think yes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
