we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
