he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
