Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
