the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
