My nipple is on Facebook.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
