just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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