so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize