I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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