My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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