i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
