Porn is love you can see.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
