Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
