Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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