does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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