Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
