how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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