Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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