We need to rekindle our bromance
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
