he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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