In the future we'll all be gay
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
