I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize