Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
