dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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