these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
