He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
