Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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