whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
