there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
