Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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