just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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