why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
