Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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