It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
third nipple confirmed
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
