I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
