i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
